Life update, because nobody will remember you in 200 years from now

I recently updated my Web of Science profile, which is essentially a fancy way of screaming into the void of human knowledge. I’ve currently got an H-index of 1. That’s right, at least one person (who might have been me on a lonely Tuesday) thought my work was worth mentioning. 

          In 200 years, this H-index will be zero, I’ll be a historical footnote, and my research on Environmental Sciences will be archived on a hard drive at the bottom of the ocean. But for now? I’m verified, I’m indexed, and I’m making 'significant contributions' to a planet that is slowly replacing us with AI and highly evolved fungi. Enjoy the update before the sun runs out of hydrogen.